Posted in Weekly Blog

The lightness of arts and crafts

In this group in a season fast approaching autumn with nights growing longer and more darkness around, people are beginning to notice the difference of less light, increasing tiredness, disturbance of sleep and possible changes in mood.

So we focused on light; how when light shines in the darkness it can’t be dark anymore, and how this doesn’t work the other way around-you cannot put darkness into light as the same principal does not apply. We considered how all living, growing things need light and turn to the light. For the scientifically minded we thought about Einstein’s theory of light; how it bends in waves and reaches everywhere.

We considered what could help us as we move into the time of year with less light. What strengths and resources have we gathered through the summer that will keep us going into the darker months? Group members compared this idea to being like a solar panel and storing energy from growth and development, as well as sunshine to energise us through the winter. Some members talked about what it looks like as you walk through a long tunnel and the pin prick of light becomes bigger and bigger as you keep going-a reminder that light comes, and spring comes again too. We were also reminded that in shorter days it is a good idea to try and get out for a walk each day in the daylight and get some sunshine. We considered too that although the trees drop their leaves, this allows more light through during the winter time.

The group had a creative task today which everyone got involved and engaged with as they produced images, poems, word pictures and arranged lights all with personal meaning about the importance and value of light and how we will maximise it where we can over the next few months.

Posted in Weekly Blog

Can I Accept Compliments?

Today we looked at what compliments meant to people. We broke the discussion into four key points;

  1. How do you find giving compliments?
  2. How do you find receiving compliments?
  3. What are the rules/beliefs you attach to giving and receiving compliments?
  4. Is there any difference between confidence and arrogance?

Group members did not seem to have too much of a problem in giving others compliments.

What was a big challenge for them was being able to accept compliments. Receiving compliments made them feel slightly awkward and uncomfortable. Some of the examples and beliefs for this were;

  • “I find compliments hard to believe due to my low sense of self-worth”
  • “They don’t really mean it and are just being nice”
  • ” They are just sweetening me up as they want something”
  • ” They will find out the real me and not like it”
  • ” They are doing this as a joke at my expense”
  • “I don’t want people to think I’m a big head”

We then finally discussed whether local culture plays a part in these beliefs. In the U.K. we can tend to be very self-depreciating finding it hard to big ourselves up for fear of ridicule from others. Is it a confidence thing and we don’t wan’t to be seen as arrogant? There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. so where is the fine line? Below is a snippet of an interesting article from Dr Leisha Bailey on this

*Arrogant people build themselves up by putting others down – to “win”. Buddhism asserts that arrogance is to judge one’s self-worth by comparison with others. Arrogant people feel good about themselves only through affirming their superiority to others. Genuinely confident people feel great about themselves without comparing themselves with others. Arrogant people tend to bluff their way to success and often have difficulty listening to others. This person will avoid risks or blame others or circumstances if things do not work out as expected*

*Confidence is not a belief that one is always right or a sense of being unable to fail. True confidence welcomes alternative perspectives and opinions. A confident person rarely will be found lecturing or preaching to others on how they are wrong. Believing you are always right and unable to accept influence from others can make one obnoxious to be around. Confidence is being willing to be wrong and knowing you’ll be OK if you are. A truly self-confident person is able to show vulnerability and admit to past mistakes.*

*Taken from Dr Leisa Bailey*

Posted in Weekly Blog

Escapism through movie characters

Group members talked about who their favourite movie characters were and why. They agreed that fictional characters provides them a feeling of escapism from their everyday lives. Movie characters can be form part of our public consciousenss in the same way as pieces of music do.

Imagining how your movie character would deal with someone who has bullied you can help inspire you with a little bit more strength. Equally a very anxious child can imagine having superhero powers like Spiderman to keep them safe.

Below is an example from Spiderman;

Posted in Weekly Blog

Dealing With The Benefits System

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Today’s group focussed on how people deal with the benefit system and more specifically, ‘Work Capability Assessment’ interviews. At group sessions we often hear of how the current system invokes strong feelings of anxiety and  sheer terror. With this in mind we thought it would be good to have a look at the different processes involved and the options people have.

Below is an example of the different stages involved upon receiving assessment letter; 

  1. Attend ‘Work Capability Assessment’ interview
  2. You receive a letter from the DWP* informing you that you are not being awarded benefit.
  3. You disagree with their decision so respond by sending a ‘Mandatory consideration letter’ to inform the DWP* of your reasons for disagreeing with their decision to see if they will reconsider.
  4. If the response from the DWP* is that they are upholding their original decision you then have the option to appeal it and have your case taken to at an independent tribunal.                                                       

If you are feeling anxious it is so important to seek support.

Some of the suggested supports were,

Group members felt that having someone to help support them in filling in forms was extremely beneficial and relievied some of their anxiety. With no support it can literally feel like a real life or death situation with the looming uncertainty of having no income to survive. That is why it is so useful to have supportive people around you to help provide some hope for your future.

 

 

*’The Department of Work and Pensions* 

 

 

Posted in Weekly Blog

Thinking about our Inner Child

Below is a small snap shot of how we used with Russian dolls to help us develop a better understand the dynamics of our ‘Inner child’

1. Inside the grown-up deep inside is the child just like these Russian dolls.
You might feel it a positive when you are playing with children. For example I feel it while playing football with my young nephews.

2. You might feel it in a negative way if you are waiting to go in for formal appointment and you start to feel as if you did when you were called to the headmaster’s office. (Or maybe you were all good kids and were never sent to the headmaster’s office!)

3. (Using an elastic band)
Like this band we are all big and stretched out, but certain events, circumstances or people could make us feel small again.

4. (Imagining all our younger selves)
Thinking about when you were at primary school what 3 words would you use to describe the wee person you were then?

5. (Pick an age between 5-10 years old)
– Thinking about you at the age you have chosen  we will ask a few questions if that is OK to that part of you, be it 5 or 7 or 10 years old- whatever age you have picked.
– Think about who was your teacher, your favourite toy or who were your friends then.
Ok so we are all focused in on an age and who we were then.
QUESTIONS-
If that child had something to say, to be heard what might it say?
What did it need?
What would you like to say to it?
How might you soothe it? (Note: Demonstrate by putting the little one in the big one.

6. We end by putting all the dolls back inside each other so there is just one big one. It demonstrates we are back in our adult place.

Posted in Weekly Blog

Fear Of Failure

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At today’s group we looked at the fear of failure.  Although our fears come from a protective place they can ultimately leave us feeling stuck and unfulfilled in parts of our life. If you’ve suffered disappointments in life it feel such a risk to try something new and it not working out. To avoid these disappointing feelings people may decide it safer to stay in the situation they know. In this case the fear of failure can feel more powerful than the possibility of success. It can feel so scary to take that leap of faith into the unknown. Group members gave examples of how they overcame fears and how it became the making of them. The thing to remember is that even if you try something and it does not work out you can always try something else. This of course does not take away the feelings of disappointment but it certainly does not make you a failure. We are learning all the time, particularly in the hard times.  If we think back to being a toddler and learning to walk we do fall at times but we get back up and gradually learn to walk. Below is an inspiring video of people who have faced disappointments but managed to keep on trying new things.

Posted in Weekly Blog

Having fun increases our well-being

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While preparing for our group programme in advance we are always mindful of the need to make sure it is finely balanced between light topics and others that are a bit heavier. After having a few deeper sessions it felt nice to mix it up today having a session on fun!  It’s something that is so important for our well-being which sadly at times we can all too readily dismiss as un-important.

We did an exercise using spiritual cards and asked group members to choose a card that meant something to them. People found this useful as it provided an outlet to communicate how they felt. After this we played the card game adaption of the popular game show, ‘Catchphrase’. By the end of the game the scores between the two teams were fairly equal!

We finished with a look at what people’s favourite movies where and why. This evoked a discussion about the emotional attachment certain films held for people. Some of the films chosen were, ‘Cinema Paradiso’, ‘Kung Fu Panda’, ‘Back To The Future’, ‘Riding In Cars With Boys’, E.T., ‘Bridget Jones’s Baby’, ‘Mary and Max’ and ‘The Godfather’ It was so nice to feel the passion and energy this brought to the conclusion of todays’ group!

Pop corn with soda and movie shows