“I don’t see what others see in me”. This is a saying that we can hear a lot of in society throughout all walks of life. Is this a default position we go to or are there cultural reasons for it? Certainly here in Scotland and the rest of the U.K. there does seem to be more of a tendency to play down our strengths as to do otherwise could leave you feeling uncomfortable. Is there a fear that by acknowledging our strengths we may be seen by others as ‘getting too big for your boots’ or ‘playing your own trumpet’. Does finding the fine line between confidence and arrogance play a part in our fear? You only have to look at celebrities who are universally loved by people all over the world who also can struggle and use self-depreciating comments such as; “What if I get found out, and am not as good as people seem to think I am?” This may seem like a silly thing to say given all the evidence to the contrary, but it does show that they are only human and can have insecurities like anyone.
Group members shared their own experiences of how they found acknowledging their strengths. Some people actually felt that it would be much easier to list their short comings. We then did an exercise where we asked people to write down the strengths and qualities they saw in one other and pass it back to the person so they could see the qualities others saw in them. While people found it nice doing this they still found it a challenge to take in and believe what people saw in them.
Today’s subject felt very relevant as this group is very much based on helping people build up their sense of worth. The hope being that through doing this it can play a part in being able to acknowledge their strengths without totally dismissing them.
