At this weeks group we used some brief sections of Susan Jeffers best selling book:
We looked at her idea that:
“AT THE BOTTOM OF EVERY ONE OF YOUR FEARS IS SIMPLY THE FEAR THAT YOU CAN’T HANDLE WHATEVER LIFE MAY BRING YOU.”
This lies at the bottom of any fear we live with; getting ill, redundancy, loss, bankruptcy etc. She says if we knew we could handle anything what could we possibly have to fear?
Susan Jeffers names five truths to assist in dealing with fear, these are:
- The fear will never go away as long as I continue to grow.
- The only way to get rid of the fear of something is to go out ……and do it.
- The only way to feel better about myself is to go out…..and do it.
- Not only am I going to experience fear whenever I’m on unfamiliar territory, but so is everyone else.
- Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness.
We discussed the fears that people felt they couldn’t handle and looked into these a bit more. Some people spoke about self-fulfilling fears, whereby the expectation affects a persons attitude and behaviours often leading to the expected result. Others talked about learning to not worry about the outcome and try the thing anyway, for example rather than not apply for a job for fearing about not being successful, just apply for the job anyway-that is overcoming the fear and not worrying about the result. We talked about how you can do some things with baby steps and things don’t have to be all or nothing (some things do!) you can try a little first and see if it works.
We spent time considering truth number 5, in that what can be motivating is that the fear of staying stuck becomes greater than the fear of embracing the change. We got the idea of truth number 1, that in life we will always face fear because there will always be new and changing circumstances and instead of hiding from fear, to accept it as a normal part of life.
This was a good group with an energetic discussion and people left more positive about embracing change and, well, going out and doing it!