Month: May 2016

At this group we acknowledged that feeling lonely and isolated is at times part of the human condition, a human experience that is universal.  We may literally be on our own or we may feel a dark sense of loneliness in our hearts even if we do have people in our lives.

We talked about some of the different places that people had reached out to, and had found helpful in times of isolation, these included; Barony Contact Point, Breathing Space, community centres and volunteering.  Others might be groups about specific things e.g. walking groups or a learning class.  We discussed that social media can sometimes contribute to a sense of feeling disconnected and at others times alleviate loneliness.

However, while there might be a list of places to go and meet with others, what do you do if you feel so anxious or down on yourself that you feel unable to talk to anyone?

A set of social tools is something that can be learned, so although some people seem more naturally gifted, anyone can learn a few tips enough to meet people and hopefully form a connection.  One strategy mentioned was looking at the most recent headlines which could be a good conversation topic, others tips include:

1. Have some questions or topics ready
2. Smile and make eye contact
3. Focus on the other person, reflect back or ask a question e.g. so you got the bus here, was traffic bad? Don’t worry about having small talk, its a way into a conversation, and with the right connection can lead to big talk!

We also discussed having healthy boundaries and healthy relationships.  Some people can find that they seem to attract people who drain their energy and can feel quite negative.  We talked about actively choosing the relationships we want rather than feeling obliged and drawn in. This may mean saying no to an invite, or not giving out your phone number.  In the past in the group people have talked about having a social detox and losing the people who put them down, are critical, draining, abusive or lead them astray.A good friendship should challenge you but not crush you, make you feel bigger not smaller, make you feel like you’re really funny even when your jokes are terrible, make you feel likeable.  And they should be equal; there are times when we need to provide support, and times when we need to feel supported, and in amongst all this there should be fun, kindness and understanding.  It’s also good to recognise when a bit of space is needed to breath individually.

Again, we looked at how do we set these boundaries when we don’t feel great?  One thing that we looked at was simply how we use body language.

We looked at how to overcome some fears connected to social anxiety by disputing some of our beliefs e.g ‘People will think I’m weird’ or ‘If they really knew about me they wouldn’t like me’.

Finally we looked at ‘What could you be brave enough to step out and try?’ This could be going somewhere new, or trying out chatting to someone new, for example a shopkeeper.

Another Zumba session had been requested by the Choose Life Group, so this week we danced, and shimmied and laughed while wiggling. The Zumba website cites a few articles and studies showing the benefits of dance connected with physical and mental health, they are all contained in the following link.  Click here to see the amazing health benefits associated with dancing.

If you do not feel so confident about dance moves, our most basic move of putting one foot in front of the other in the form of walking has tremendous benefits.  The NHS recommend that 30 minutes a day, five days a week can make you healthier and happier.  Click here for more details.

If you are interested in the therapeutic benefits of dance, you may be interested to read the following article from the Zumba website by a psychotherapist/Zumba instructor:

Meet Leoni Epiphaniou. The Boston resident has been a psychotherapist for over 20 years, helping hundreds of clients deal with stress, anxiety, traumatic events, depression, and so much more. As if that doesn’t keep her busy enough, Leoni also has a side job – she’s been a licensed Zumba® Instructor for the last 5 years. If you think her two career paths are not connected, think again.

“My passion for therapy and for dance go hand in hand,” says Leoni. “Exercise, especially dance, allows one to let go and achieve a deeper layer of healing that is difficult to do with talk therapy alone.”

Because of this finding, Leoni recommends group exercise…She firmly believes that movement is correlated with good health, while stagnancy leads to disease.

“There’s a magic that happens when you’re moving around,” says Leoni. “You may not even be aware of it, but learning a new choreography and being in the moment enables your mind to interrupt negative thought patterns. And that’s where healing begins.”

Many clients reach a point where stress, anxiety, and emotions become too overwhelming. There are a number of reasons why Zumba classes create a perfect environment for getting rid of emotional stress.

• It’s easy to do. If you let go and have fun with it, it’s an opportunity to get in touch with your inner child or [playfulness].  Dance is a great way to lift your body to an open, optimistic posture, which is the ideal gateway into brighter mental landscapes.
• There’s a social connection, which is beneficial because of the camaraderie that occurs. Unlike treadmills or running, which are solo activities, Zumba classes promote interaction with others, which can lead to improved confidence.
• Mindfulness. When you allow yourself to zoom into the present moment to feel the beat, learn a routine, and lose yourself in movement and dance, there is no anxiety about what is in the past or about what lies ahead. That focus on the here and now helps to break focus from negative thought patterns and cultivates relaxation, positivity and awareness, which leads to optimum functioning, energy and health.

“The Zumba program is so much more than a way to get in physical shape,” says Leoni. “The joy and the actual mind shift that my clients experience after taking classes are little miracles that I get to witness every day.”

Ready to fill your prescription?…Warning: Zumba classes may cause extreme optimism, confidence, weight loss, and permanent smiling.

So, finally, here’s to dancing to bring out your inner child