In this weeks group, though small again, it was of great comfort for people to be together and feel that they are not alone in the situations they are facing. We looked at a few articles on how to stay well and beat stress over the Christmas period. Please see our pinterest board for these.
In particular we discussed a principal which has been very freeing for some people, in that basically we don’t have to put up with rubbish from other people. We don’t need to stay and listen to it, and we don’t have to believe it. Just because something is said to us does not mean it is true, as often unpleasant things which are said to us are coming from an irrational place.
We considered practical issues such as budgeting, eating healthily and exercise. At this time of year in Scotland it is good to grab any opportunity for a quick walk when we see the sun is out-however briefly!!
As a group today we tweeted, which was a social media first for some!
We also began to make a Christmas tree with messages of hope and recovery for our building so that people can encourage one another.
Today we had a smaller group but certainly no less productive. Our discussion today was around confidence and self-worth. We talked about how our experiences (good and bad) from childhood have shaped us adults today. e.g While having a romantic relationship as an adult we may tend to be with someone who reminds us of our parent even if we did not have the best of relationships with that parent. No matter how unhappy a relationship may leave us feeling, we may decide to stay in it due to our life experiences. Was it possibly the familiarity that attracted us to this person at the start of the relationship? Sometimes it may feel safer to stay with what you know and expect. That is why it is always helpful to become more self-aware and to find out why we do what we do, and are there any familiar patterns emerging? It is about learning to believe in yourself and like yourself for who you are, and most importantly, to be kind and compassionate to yourself. When feeling low on confidence we may tell ourselves;
“I’m so stupid, I’m worthless, It’s my fault, I’m a failure, I’m not good enough, I’m incompetent.”
An example of our behaviors may be;
- Trying to please others
- getting defensive when we believe we’re being criticised
- Being passive and shy around others
- Avoiding situations and people
- Neglecting or abusing ourselves
We then talked about the “Poisoned parrot” . This is essentially an analogy for self-talk. Group members found this thought tool very useful in relating to some of their own experiences.
Below is The Poisoned Parrot thought tool;
So, this was not the first time that Choose Life have had a dance off! This was our second experience of Zumba, witnessing some unique grooves and wide smiles and ballet like poise, in some, definitely not all. Our conclusion once again is that finding a physical activity that suits you is beneficial for you physically and emotionally. It may not be dancing that inspires you, many find therapeutic value in walking, swimming, or maybe even weight lifting or martial arts. Whatever suits you, its good to move, or in our case, groove. People had fun and felt all the better for it!